CHRISTMAS in my head vs. Christmas in REALITY

Every year I can’t wait for December 1st when the proper Christmas countdown starts.

I decorate the flat (and get told off that we have too much “rubbish” around), watch telly a wee bit loud when cutting, gluing and creating my Christmas cards, go wayyy over the top when buying presents for my loved ones and then… I wait for the “magic” to happen…

But… nothing ever happens!

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Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas – I love that I get to see everyone in the family, I love how festive everything feels, I love the smell of Christmas tree (I still can’t understand why would anyone have a plastic one instead), I love when I give “the right” present to someone, I absolutely love all the food and I LOOOVE getting presents (and people who say they don’t like getting presents are liars).

But I always expect something else, something more.

In my mind something “magical” should happen during Christmas – I think I may have watched one too many American fairytales.

In my mind everything is stress free, everyone is happy and excited, food never burns and everyone loves each other unconditionally.

However, the reality is usually a bit different. At least in our family.

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In our family, the closer to Christmas it gets, the louder everyone starts saying that they don’t have money and that no one should expect good presents from them and that we are all grown-ups so who needs presents anyways. But then everyone goes and spends crazy money on their presents because they feel they should and they don’t want to disappoint… and then they struggle in January.

During our Christmas dinner grandma usually starts crying. It could be because: she misses granddad (this is the good option), the food isn’t good (also fairly good option) or that she thinks that we don’t love her (bad option!). Last year she left the dinner table and locked herself in the living room and we, one by one, had to go and tell her we love her… Alzheimer is a terrible disease.

In the last few years we managed to set off a powder fire extinguisher during presents unwrapping, we celebrated Christmas with people no one invited and with people who were wrapping their presents during Christmas dinner. When you think of a possible disaster… it has probably happened in our family.

Earlier this week I was speaking to my sister Viola and we were discussing what could possibly go wrong this Christmas. And then she told me: “Stop bloody looking forward to it, we just need to survive it.”

But… I won’t! Because it’s CHRISTMAS!

So… I promise to keep waiting for the Christmas “magic” every year! And who knows, maybe one year “something” will really happen! I just hope that I will survive it :)

Are you a “magic” believer? And what does Christmas in your family look like? Is it an American fairytale?

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