CANCER or NO CANCER? Trying to do “as if nothing” is bloody hard!
I am not a very patient person. In fact, I am not patient at all. I am also very stubborn, determined and used to doing everything I want.
And when I am feeling tired, I push harder, because “things” need to get done and I’m not a sissy, right?!
Silly? Big time! But no matter how many times someone told me to slow down, no matter how many times I’ve read that one needs to slow down every once in a while, I didn’t. Of course.
And I know I’m not the only one “out there” who is like this!
But human body is not a machine.
I’ve been running and travelling all over this whole year, I ran loads of half marathons and two marathons. I have a full time job and if I work less than 55 hours a week then it’s a success. Was I feeling tired? Yup. Of course I was tired, but that’s normal, who wouldn’t feel tired, or?!
Month and a half ago I went to a doctor for regular check up. I haven’t been for one since I was 18. It is a law here in Czech Republic that you need to go for a medical check up when you start a new job. My check up was about 10 months delayed but I went at last.
The doctor was pretty throughout, checked my blood pressure, EKG and then she asked me if I ever had my thyroid checked. Of course I didn’t. What is a thyroid? Apparently she doesn’t like the look of it.
And that’s how it all started…
When I got home I started googling what is thyroid and what function in the body it actually does. If you are as ignorant as me, then THIS is where you can learn a bit more about what function thyroid plays in your body.
Next day I went for blood tests, then had a phone call and had to go for another visit to the GP and “BOOM” an appointment at an endocrinologist was set up for the following week.
This all happened on Thursday and on Friday I travelled to Amsterdam to run a half marathon. My GP said I shouldn’t run, the endocrinologist told me to do what I feel like doing. So, of course, I ran. Nice and slow, high fiving all the kids and dancing at each music station. I loved the race but my thoughts kept coming back to my thyroid, wondering what is wrong with it…
It turned out, that I have a knot (or tumor if you like) on my right thyroid and I had to go for biopsy. Another waiting started. This time two weeks. When I asked my doctor what I should or should not do, she told me: “Just do as if nothing and don’t worry.” Great advice but easier said than done.
I tried though. But even when I was running bare foot on Porto beach and was jumping into the waves after fabulous sunrise run with some of my favourite people in the world, the stupid thyroid kept creeping in… “what if”.
Then two weeks were up and there I was having a needle stuck in my throat to take some of the tissue of my tumor away. I know, it sound awful, but in fact it wasn’t as bad as I expected. And then another two weeks of “trying to do as if nothing” and waiting for the results. Did I mention that I’m not patient at all? Grr!
The results came in and it seems my 6 cm tumor is there not to kill me but to scare the shit out of me. Good news! Yay!
I will have to have an operation to have it removed and more testing BUT, hopefully, it is not cancer. The reason why I have been feeling so tired is because my thyroid is going crazy which means that my hormones are going super crazy and that is what makes me tired. I’m not a sissy after all.
During my “trying to do as if nothing” time I promised myself couple of things:
- I will slow down! And since I am ME, I will need to schedule “slow time” in my diary –I already blocked off weekends when I will lie on my sofa and watch telly in 2016.
- I will not sign up for EVERY race I fancy doing. A race once a month will do just fine.
- I will LISTEN TO MY BODY. And when I feel tired, I will switch off and do nothing. And if I still feel tired, then I may just pop in to the doctors to check if it’s “normal”.
If you are a bit like me, and especially if you are a runner: we are used to pushing and training hard even when it hurts. That’s part of the drill. BUT please try to LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. If you are tired, it doesn’t mean that you need to push harder or that you are a sissy, but it is your body telling you to slow down… so LISTEN and slow down…
Are you good at “listening to your body”?
Have you ever had to “try to do as if nothing” and how good were you at it?
What about you and your thyroid? Are you friends?
Do you slow down when you are tired?
P.P.S. And guess what… I’m bringing AdventRunning to Praha! Whopeee! More info to come but you will be the first ones to know. I promise!
P.P.P.S. Another thing which I promised to myself during my “trying to do as if nothing” period was that I will run Race to the Stones. And because I’m now trying to be sensible I will run only 50k and not the full 100k. Whoohoo!
Categories: "just" my LIFE